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I chase time. I chase dream. But will it mean I lose everything in between? Mama says head on, Ayah says stay. Shall I let nature takes its course, knowing that I will not be able to handle its dip of failure. Why do we dream too much in the first place?

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Sunday, April 11, 2010
2:43 AM
Cantik rupawan, tetapi sering memandang rendah. Hati busuk.
Im bored to death so Im going to be random about this topic. For all you people out there, it is never alien to us calling someone pretty or hearing someone being called pretty. It has never been alien till it has reach a stage where every girl one sees is considered pretty. Everyone can be pretty, but not many can be beautiful. Girls these days has a pretty exterior but just ugly interior. Saddening don't you think. This is why not many are beautiful. Hahahah like good only I say this shxt. The truth is, I get pissed when people publicize their actions towards innocence and holiness publicly. I have a friend who actually discriminate a certain group of people in her status. What makes you perfect when your flaws are not yours to see? Same goes to being pretty yet saying all those bad stuff and doing things you once preached about not doing. Life is just full contradiction due to the people living by its rule. I consider girls with bronze skin and fit figure with weird yet amazing hair, pretty. I get disgusted at girlish girls just like tahu lembik. Heheheh and so I contradicted myself.

Moving on, I've not been caring much about my looks lately. I look like an ugly bum just left the subway to find herself a decent meal whenever I head for work. And I always look like a sick patient just went for her dialysis whenever I leave house. I, myself is sick looking at my own reflection. Will someone please groom her up? Haha. I have no mood lately. Not much of occasions to force me to look pretty/gorgeous/hot mama/awesome. HAHAHAHA please vomit on Meat's hair ty. Weight loss has been a vital cause of my low self-esteem. I can see bones popping out of nowhere and I feel ashamed for being weak at evening opening a glass bottle. FYI, I was an all time champion in arm wrestling when I was in my primary school years. See how demoralizing it has become? I really feel sick and force feeding has caused me to have constipation instead. The torture. Now whenever someone tells me they are trying to lose weight when they are not suppose to are just SICK in the mind and stomach. That's just a reason for an early commit suicide.

Finally, I ve been contemplating in getting myself a professional camera. Either I give up my old cam and top up some cash or just buy another. And also I've been eyeing on the Ipod touch and also an Iphone/Boleh Blah phone. And definitely more and more pants. Heee, pants craze. Oh yes a new ladylike watch too. Susah gaji 4k ye.... Hahhahah basted. K la i am tirings. Nighty naughty nights all!